Monday, January 21, 2008

Winter colds and other obstacles...

My poor, pitiful children! They've all got a nasty winter cold. It sounds like a sick ward over here - sniffles and hoarse voices, and awful coughing. My throat's sore today, so I'm going to be the next one down. And poor J1! His birthday's this week, and it looks like we're all going to be under the weather. We've agreed he'll have cake and presents, and then when we all feel better he'll have a second birthday day, where we go to the movies and do a couple other fun things we had planned. Plus, I don't think we'll get much schoolwork done this week.

I'm awfully frustrated with how our school year is going. It just seems like one obstacle after another. Two weeks ago I had yet another early miscarriage. Even though it was super early, I was barely even pregnant at all, in fact - it still makes me feel all hormonal and yucky. Then I saw my doctor, and she wants to increase the dosage on one of my medications, and it's the one that makes me feel just horrible. Tired, depressive, like I'm walking through water all day long. Unfortunately, there are no better alternatives to that medication, given that I still hope to get pregnant, so I realize that I just need to learn to cope with it. The doctor also suggested I have a thyroid ultrasound, which determined that I have "multiple small cysts". We're not sure what that means - could it be the reason why I feel so awful all the time? Is it something serious? From what I can determine, it's most likely that it's probably nothing, but we're waiting for the endocrinologist to call so I can get an appointment to check things out.

Basically - I have not felt well, both physically and emotionally, all year long. Every time I think things are going to start going better, something happens. A miscarriage, a cold, or something.

And you know what? I've decided - it's OK. This is life, we'll push through, we'll do as much as we can do. I get frustrated sometimes, because my best is so much better than this. But, I'm just not able to give 100% right now, so I'll simply do the best I can. I was feeling really down about it all, but my dear husband pointed out that discouragement and despair are not what God wants of me. I think it's more important for the kids to see me happy, with a good attitude despite the difficulties. And it's better for me, too, of course! Being cheerful is sometimes a challenge for me, though, I'll admit. (Prayer helps!!)

But honestly? We are very, very blessed, and I know it. Dh finally has a stable job after years of illness and career interruptions. My kids are happy, they are secure, they love me and their dad, they love each other, they love God. They have occasional attitude/character issues - but it's rarely more than very minor troubles. They are just great kids! Despite the occasional cold, they are healthy. They're smart, they're capable, and they will be fine.

I just refuse to get too discouraged when I have such great kids, a husband who loves me, and the strength of my faith.


Sarah Faith said...

So sorry about the mis. Is it good news that at least, you are still getting preg? I hope you get good resolution to your health issues.
Have you tried alternative medicine? I know an MD practice in Cumming that specializes in it... maybe give you some other paths you could try? Let me know if you want the #.
Hope you all get better soon.

Kelly said...

I'm sorry things are so hard. I hope they get better soon. It sounds like a cliche I know, but you are in my prayers so much. {{{HUGS}}}

Shelly said...

Awww...Jen. Keep us posted on the thyroid issue. Hopefully you'll know something soon.

God bless you and surround you with His peace!